


Liegeman

by darkrogue1 (Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse)



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-09
Updated: 2006-11-09
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:32:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7686451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse/pseuds/darkrogue1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set sometimes in episodes 42-46, Conrad considers what he lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The best part of being a liegeman is to follow; to have the comfort of not worrying where you are led to. Yosak is still happy to have that, with his king. Thinking of Yosak brings up memories of the trip to Bandarbia, the way he tested Yuuri, to set his heart ready for disappointment if he sensed he was never to experience this bond. He now has this bond. As I did.   
  
My eyes get slightly fogged and I feel my hand tremble as I remember, for now it is just a ... painful... long-lost memory. It usually comes with trust, this bond. Your liege partially trusts you with his life and in return you follow him, trusting him with yours, blindly following him and believing in his strength to avoid most of the traps ahead... Obedience in acts. Freedom in trust. I now only feel a hollow echo through the emptiness in my chest where this bond used to be.  
  
Yuuri... my king, more painful than the loss of an arm, this is the sacrifice I consented to serve my country. I still remember the joy, the first feeling, the astonishment as you freely and completely trusted me... and when you finally took up your charge and ordered me to trust you... the first time our bond was truly complete... It shall never be the same again.  
  
Once it is shattered this bond may never become the same again. There will always be an undercurrent of fear and doubt: "Will I get betrayed again?"... Maybe had I gone to Shimaron earlier... maybe if I had been less present by your side... maybe if you had not trusted me so much from the start... but no. It is never, never to be again... our bond was too fast-established, too strong, too deep... too broken.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> episode 49. Conrad never hopes for something like before, so he sacrifices all for remembrance’s sake.

Now more than ever I served the king. Maybe to atone for what I broke, maybe as an apology for shed tears, or maybe just because there was nothing else to do. I lost myself in service without expecting any reward this time, or any trust. I resolved to just give, that I would give until I was no more.   
  
Today I had to take action, to go and catch Yuuri falling from a cliff... Somehow I sensed the future need, something was in the air, whispering for me to hurry... an echo ... It had the same accent as this past trust and I ran... For a few minutes it was almost the same, I believed it... until I spoke up my relief to Yuuri and he did not acknowledge it... What a fool I was, our bond was no more.  
  
On the beach... it hurt. How it hurt to see the pendant gone from his neck... it had become the symbol of this bond, my allegiance. But then I heard something totally unexpected, Yuuri wished to go back for it... and something washed over the hurt in my chest. It was splashing, cool, bordering cold, but soothing and wet, like fresh water from a well to a man lost in the desert.  
  
The void slowly filled then, and I nearly wept with gratitude and disbelief and this something else... and I repeated my pledge to my sovereign. And when it was accepted I felt the connection again and with wet eyes I smiled to him.   
  
I do not know if I can ever express how grateful, how thankful I am to have such a magnanimous king and master. His forgiveness is much as the sea's large unchanging depths. From now on I shall believe this bond to be unbreakable as it is soaked in my every cell, and one cannot break a steady flow of water.


End file.
